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“My First Wedding” is Headed to Divorce Court

My First Wedding 2

When I saw that “My First Wedding” was an official section of the Hollywood Film Festival, I suspected it would a movie that I would not like. Oftentimes Hollywood’s and my idea of a good movie are two different things (although that is certainly not always true). I was right! I hated almost everything about this movie. This is why I downloaded unlockmytv apk to avoid such movie horrors. I get a personalized list of movies that are according to my taste and have a high rating.

The film centers on bride to be Vanessa Sinclair (played by Rachael Leigh Cook). She is supposed to get married in three short days. However, she’s having a lot of second thoughts; about the bag boy, the jogger, the carpenter, and just about every other young man she meets. It seems that Vanessa has a “lust addiction.” She is lusting after just about every man she meets. Realizing this is a real problem she decides it is time to doing something about it.

At her wits end, Vanessa seeks refuse in a church confessional where she pours her heart out to a priest; or at least who she “thinks” is a priest. She tells him everything including the fact that her fiancé doesn’t want to have sex until their wedding night. She, on the other hand, wants to have sex now; right now!

The supposed priest is actually a young carpenter by the name of Nick Francis (played by British heartthrob Kenny Doughty) who is simply there to repair the confessional. Recognizing the opportunity to have a physical relationship without any of those nasty complications, Nick allows Vanessa to believe that he is, in fact, a priest. When she implores him to stick by her side until the day of her wedding so that she will remain faithful, he jumps at the chance.

The ladies man, with a reputation for loving them and leaving them – – for their own best friends, no less – – transforms himself into Father Nick with the intention of seducing the blushing bride. But surprise, surprise! He ends up falling for the girl.

Now desperate to stop the wedding so that he can Vanessa for himself, Nick pulls out all of the stops to waylay, crash, or stop the wedding; whatever it takes. He even ropes his sister into the game, hoping that she can seduce Vanessa’s fiancé to be unfaithful to her. When nothing else works, he performs the wedding ceremony himself, thus ensuring that Vanessa is still available.

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What ensues after the ceremony is just too ridiculous for words. The movie, which had already reduced itself to every horrible cliché known to man, then disintegrates into pure stupidity.

There is only a couple of redeeming things about this film. I’ll get to those in the moment. Everything else is beyond awful. The screenplay written by Joan Carr-Wiggin actually had a lot of potential. The story, in the right director’s hands, could have been cute; though hardly high comedy. At any rate, that doesn’t happen here, which is a real shame.

The director, Laurent Firode, had absolutely no idea what to do with this film. He took what could have been a charming screenplay and reduced it to absolute trash. Furthermore, he failed to pull in the reigns of Doughty who not only overplayed the role of Nick but demolished every redeemable quality of the character.

There is no denying that Doughty is attractive. I’ll even give him the fact that he has a magnetic presence on screen. However, if this film is any indication of his acting ability, I have to say that I hope he stays in England. He took what could have been a part with warmth, humor, and appeal and turned it into ridiculous slapstick comedy. It is way beyond too much.

I said that there was a couple of redeeming things about this movie. The first is Rachael Leigh Cook. Unlike her costar, Cook managed to play the humor of her character with perfect timing. She breathed life into what could have been a soulless part, making the audience actually feel her pain and care about what happens to her. She delivered scene after scene with grace, charm, and a rare luminosity. Unfortunately, she just can’t hold this movie afloat all on her own.

The other deeming factor about this film was Valarie Mahaffey, who played Rachel’s mother. There is something innately appealing about this very funny actress. Comedy comes natural to her and she can easily steal scene after scene when she sets her mind to it. She stole one or two in this movie without breaking a sweat.

It is always hard for me to declare a movie bad. I can generally find something redeeming in every film because I love movies that much. Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. This movie is bad with a capital B.

“My First Wedding” comes from Cinema Libre Studios and Paragraph Pictures and Buccaneer Films. It is a too long 96 minutes in length and caries a PG-13 rating for sexual language and situations.

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